Chill B

I’ve taken a very pregnant pause from my writing. I decided today to make a deliberate effort and give myself more time for it. Writing is quite soothing for me and usually fun (that is when I’m not trying to create some 10,000-word masterpiece in APA format about some mind-numbing topic). Right now, however, the words don’t come as easy. Two days ago, I was feeling a little frazzled when I sat down to write. I could not figure out why. Honestly, I have been “a little frazzled” for several months. Changed diet, exercise, meditation schedule, prayer times, sleep habits, shampoo and fabric softener. You name it, I’ve tried it. Nothing has quieted my mind completely and allowed me to place adequate focus on being creative. My intention was to solve that, and I think I did.

Most people are currently social distancing and for many there might be less to do. The streets in some major cities are quiet. The pollution in the air has cleared. We should not be as busy…. Right? Wrong! My mind is busy. Some days my to do list is a blank canvas with endless possibilities which leave me wondering where to start. I recently purchased a new home that I haven’t moved into yet. I think that I want new carpet. I need to clean. I keep unpacking boxes to look for things like sweaters because it will suddenly get cold again. Like most people who are still working from home I have been given this “gift” of extra time, but suddenly I don’t know how to manage my own life. I am getting a lot more exercise which is a positive thing. I have lost weight when other people are gaining. There is also this thing about working from home that absolutely bugs me. I set a schedule for myself, so I don’t spend countless hours on the computer, but I am still at home. Apparently, that also now means that the organization I work for needs to send out multiple tasks every hour and have daily meetings to ensure we are still working, but I digress. Just when I think I got everything figured out and I know where to go next BAM, I get hit with something new that I hadn’t expected.

The funny and not so subtle thing about chaos is that it can leave just as quickly as it comes your way. I recently started reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I know many people have called this book life changing, but I never bothered picking it up. I was reminded of the book after listening to an interview with Devale Ellis on the Laura Coates show. If you are interested in mostly legal talk from an urban perspective, this is a dynamic program to check out. (Sirius Radio has free trials right now). There is a quote in The Alchemist that says “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”. This is a very powerful statement. It is indicative of the universal laws which I strongly believe. “How did I forget this”, I thought to myself. I realized that all I really wanted was a moment to chill the *@# out so I can hear through the noise and get back to handling my business. It wasn’t just what I wanted, but also what I needed. And suddenly I felt a wave of calm. Just as quickly as this chaos had appeared and tried to interrupt my being, it was flushed away. The kind of calm you feel when you know there has been a shift in your energy. My grandmother used to call it a peace that surpasses all understanding.

After that divine intervention, my writing came a little bit easier. I was also able to get a little bit of perspective. I can say I am truly blessed with strong character and a faithful spirit. But I’m also a bad ass and have been for a long time. Nothing can break me, but sometimes I may wobble a bit. Maybe you can relate to this. Maybe you just thought this was a funny story to read. Maybe you didn’t get past the first few lines and so you will miss out on the cash prize coming up in the next line. There is no cash prize, but If you are feeling any of these things, please remember to be encouraged and stay focused. This too shall pass.

So today I checked something off that to do list. I wrote a little blog, on my little website and to me that is a big deal. I sense the tide is turning for me and I realize that I’ve been prepared for this. I just need to remind myself “Chill B”, it’s only life.

Peace, Love and Blessings BC Roberts

References

The Laura Coates Show on Sirius Radio, Best Of Episode Monday 26 May 2020. https://player.siriusxm.com/on-demand-episodes

The Alchemist: Paulo Coelho. Spark Publishing, 2014.